How Do My Core Beliefs Influence My Relationships?

How Do My Core Beliefs Influence My Relationships?

Your core beliefs, which determine how you live your life, are foundational for this course. Since this concept is so important, this book challenges you to look at your own belief system.

For the purposes of this book, a core belief is defined as a firmly held conviction that consistently motivates your behavior.

Belief + Consistent Action = Core Belief

A belief is something you say you believe. However, a core belief is not only what you state you believe, but how you act most of the time. Your core beliefs determine much of what you think and feel about life, yourself and others. If you have healthy, biblical core beliefs, your relationships will be strong and successful. However, if they are not healthy, your relationships will suffer.

Core beliefs regarding communication affect the success or failure of your relationships. As you study, you may discover beliefs that limit your potential to build rewarding personal, professional and spiritual relationships. Ask God to give you an open mind to what He wants to teach you.

Insights about Core Beliefs

1. A belief is something you accept as true, but don’t necessarily act on it. A core belief demonstrates how you live, not what you say you believe.
2. You can have ideas you claim to feel strongly about, but if you don’t demonstrate them in the way you live, they are merely superficial ways of thinking—not core beliefs.
3. The term “believe” in the New Testament usually refers to a core belief—something acted upon. Read James 2:14–26. What do those verses say about the relationship between actions and beliefs?
4. You may or may not be aware of your core beliefs. Many are acted out, but not thought In other words, you may act on your core beliefs, but you haven’t analyzed or acknowledged what you believe.
5. “Consistent” does not mean you live them out Rather, it means the usual way you live. For example, you may have a conviction about the importance of daily Bible reading. If you read your Bible most days, but occasionally miss a day, you are living that core belief. However, if you only open your Bible on Sundays, this is not a central belief; it is only something you say you believe.
6. If your core beliefs accurately reflect truth and reality, they motivate you to act appropriately. The opposite is also true—some may be false and lead you to act inappropriately.

Here is one core belief to consider about managing conflicts well.

Conflict is normal in close relationships. Living and/or working closely together over time means that we will surely disagree at times, and that we will probably offend and irritate each other. We have different personalities, backgrounds, tastes, lifestyles and needs. These differences often result in conflicts.

Accepting conflict as a fact of life helps us deal with it better. Conflicts are not destructive in themselves. The way we handle them determines how destructive they are. In fact, when we handle conflicts well, we tend to draw closer to each other.

Excerpted from God’s Design for Community Online Course. It is filled with powerful, biblical principles that will empower you to transform all your relationships and communities.

I’m working on the next online course, Reconcilable Difference, about how to handle conflict in relationships and communities.

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