Recognizing Clues to Greater Intimacy

Recognizing Clues to Greater Intimacy

Excerpted from God’s Design for Community Online Course, available at a discount for a limited time.

Do nothing out of rivalry or vanity;

but, in humility, regard each other as better than yourselves—

look out for each other’s interests and not just for your own.

Philippians 2:3–4 CJB

Imagine you are Sherlock Holmes searching for clues to solve a mystery. In your case, you are searching for heart clues. People leave verbal and nonverbal hints revealing important hidden motivations. These signals are a direct line to the heart.

A person’s clues, whether conscious or unconscious, indicate he has a significant issue or experience he wants to communicate. People leave signs to see if anyone will spot them and show an interest.

If you sincerely want others to know you care about them, learn to recognize and respond well to the cues they give. This is a vital step in ministering to them. As you apply this Key in your communities, you will draw people to God and to your group—both believers and not-yet believers.

Very few people are gifted at recognizing and responding to clues. The rest of us need to learn these skills if we want to have great relationships and God-honoring communities. When you learn the skills in this Key, you will stand above the crowd and people will be drawn to you.

After my fiancé Ian died one month before we were to be married, I desperately needed someone to listen and care. I gave numerous heart clues, both verbal and nonverbal. Not one person outside of my immediate family responded. Some of the verbal clues I gave included: “I can’t believe Ian is really gone.” “I didn’t know I could hurt so badly.” “I really miss Ian.” It still amazes me that no one responded. Imagine what a powerful ministry someone could have had with me by picking up on one of my clues and then drawing me out to see how I was doing!

Many times individuals send messages hoping that someone cares enough to listen. When you take the time to understand the person’s situation, you will be amazed at what you uncover. As you learn to draw out people’s true needs, you will leave a positive, lasting impression.

Ask yourself, “How good am I at recognizing clues to greater intimacy?” If you aren’t sure, I’d encourage you to check out the online course, God’s Design for Community.

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