Act Contrary to Your Feelings

Act Contrary to Your Feelings

Excerpted from God’s Design for Community: Proven Relationship Skills for Christians

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A biblical key to overcoming anger and resentment is to act contrary to those very feelings, even though you probably don’t feel like it. This is especially helpful when you’re working through a decision to forgive. However, if the person continues to hurt you, you still may need to try to resolve the conflict.

Once you have made a decision to forgive, begin to act in loving ways toward the offender. This does not make you a hypocrite! Your loving actions, though inconsistent with your feelings, are totally consistent with your desire to be what God wants you to be.

Don’t wait for your feelings to change before acting! It is always easier to act your way into new feelings than to feel your way into new actions.

The very first time anger was recorded in the Bible, God laid down this principle for handling it. In Genesis 4:6–7 (NASB), “The Lord said to Cain, ‘Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door.’” We master sin through right action. Ephesians 4:26–27 (NIV) indicates that timing is vital. The longer we wait, the more difficult feelings are to handle without sinning. “‘In your anger do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.”

List actions that are contrary to your feelings and do them. Begin by praying for the person and asking God to bless him.

Luke 6:27–28 (NLT): “To you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.”

Romans 12:14 (NIV): “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.”

Romans 12:17 (NIV): “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.”

Romans 12:20–21 (NIV): “‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

When someone has hurt you, demonstrate your love and concern for him. Ask yourself, “What would I like him to do if the situation were reversed?”

Blessings on you today and in the coming days.

Gaylyn Williams, Author of From 2031 Names of God: Transform Your Life as You Get to Know God in New Ways

Co-author of Never Do Fundraising Again: A Paradigm Shift from Donors to Lifelong Partners. This is a great resource for any missionaries, short-term or long-term, who have to raise their support.

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