Defusing a Ticking Time Bomb

By Gaylyn WilliamsWith 0 comments

Defusing a Ticking Time Bomb

Excerpted from Reconcilable Differences: Strategies for Your Journey through Conflict

Available as a book, online course and live training.

You can get Continuing Education Units for the class (CEUs)

Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.

Proverbs 29:11 NIV

Defusing a Ticking Time Bomb

I’m writing this course in a remote cabin on two hundred acres, surrounded by national forest. Hummingbirds eagerly drink from the feeder I fill daily. Most of them get along and are willing to share. I’ve seen six birds drinking at once.

However, sometimes one bird attacks any others trying to feed. Even though he doesn’t want to drink, he won’t let the others drink either. His attacks with his beak are like what some people do with their words—confronting with anger. While I can’t teach the birds how to get along, there are principles and skills you can learn so you can effectively handle verbal attacks against you.

Have you ever been ripped apart by someone’s verbal rage? That kind of confrontation is unproductive. When a person is so angry that all he can do is scream, it’s difficult to help him calm down enough so you can come to some kind of resolution.


If you don’t have a plan, you will react in your usual ways. Reflect on these questions:

  1. How would you normally respond when someone verbally attacks you?
  2. How might your typical response affect your family, friends, coworkers or community?
  3. How could you respond better?
  4. How might responding more effectively affect your relationships?

As you become proficient at responding well to verbal attacks, your relationships in your communities will improve. In this chapter, you will learn to

  • defuse anger;
  • resolve differences;
  • maintain healthy relationships;
  • achieve peace within yourself when you know you have responded well rather than attacking the person in response;
  • work out mutually beneficial solutions.

Learning how to respond well to verbal attacks is an essential skill for every person. Most people do not enjoy verbal assaults. However, you will achieve remarkable success in your life and relationships when you learn how to respond effectively to an angry person.

Responding to confrontation is not easy for most people—even when the confrontation is done well. The principles in this chapter will help you respond to any confrontation—done positively or negatively. Since it is more difficult to deal with a verbal attack, this chapter focuses mainly on how to deal with confrontations that are not done well.

Criticism is normal in communities—family, church, business, ministry and more. The skills taught in this chapter will help you react in ways leading to resolution whether or not you are at fault and in every relationship in your life

Blessings on you,

Gaylyn Williams, co-author of All Stressed Up and Everywhere to Go, Solutions to De-Stress Your Life and Recover Your Sanity


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